So apparently the HSG test that I'm hopefully going to get done on Monday, if the demon snow storm doesn't close everything, is a procedure in which a dye is injected up into the uterus so that the doctor can make sure there are no blockages anywhere. I've heard that it is either not painful at all, or that it is so painful that you would rather get your hand stomped on with golf cleats than go through the pain again. I'm hoping I will not be experiencing the pain of a thousand pains. The doctor's office had called me and asked what kind of timeline and what kind of plan that we wanted to go with. I know I had told them before that we wanted to get donor sperm and all that. The nurse said "Oh! Well, then we just need to know what sperm bank you're going with and if you've already bought vials of sperm!" I told her that we didn't even know how to choose a sperm bank. She is going to send us some information apparently.
My husband and I decided to do a little research ourselves. We realized that we have no idea what we're doing. Several of the sperm banks do picture matching, so when we choose one we can send them a picture of the hubby, and they can choose some potential donors based off that. That's exciting. It's like going to the grocery store and choosing which cereal you want to buy. Only it's a vial of sperm from a complete stranger instead of Cocoa Puffs. I have to go back to the doctors on Tuesday so that I can get more blood tests. I'll ask them at that point in time what the next step is. I know that they run a business and all, but sometimes I feel as though we're just numbers in the big picture, rather than people. Hopefully their tone will change as they realize that we're actually going through with all this stuff.
In the meantime I find out that another friend is pregnant with her second child. I'm very happy for her, but a little jealous. It's just frustrating that we can't do this the completely natural way. Does that make me a terrible person? I'm just hoping that all of this goes well and that we're actually successful using donor sperm. I want to be a mother so bad.
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