Aggravating 2 Week Wait

    With all the testing I've been through lately, I should have enough proof that I am perfectly capable of getting pregnant and having a baby. However, I've only gotten to see a positive pregnancy test once in my life. Two days after seeing that positive, I had a miscarriage that was completely heartbreaking. People tell you that it just meant that something was wrong with the baby. People will tell you how common it is and that you shouldn't worry. The thing is, when someone has a miscarriage, hearing that stuff doesn't make them feel better. It makes them wonder what is wrong with them. Every commercial that comes on TV about babies or families just drives the stake a little further into the heart. Every time a family member or friend announces a pregnancy or posts baby pictures makes the longing in the soul turn from a soft whine to a heart rending howl of anguish.

     I'm three days shy of being able to do a pregnancy test and I feel all sorts of anxiety about it. I can't help but wonder if I'll be one of those who ever gets to see a positive on a pregnancy test. Will I ever get to be a mother, or will I be forever left feeling empty about that part of my life? My husband doesn't want me to worry, and says that I should just not stress about it. That's his answer to everything, and he's usually correct. So I'll just attempt to take his advice for now and deal with what comes along the best I can.